Today I had the privilege of being a witness to one of the proudest moments in my good friend’s life: his first condom purchase. Having finally acquired a red head from the rugby team to make love to under the sycamore tree, Donatello found himself in the need for anything resembling a Glad bag.
Voyaging the long haul from Chipotle to CVS across the street, his eyes light up like Michael Jackson in Toys R US as we peruse the lengthy lubricant etc aisle. Finally choosing his weapon, he approaches the cash register.
His purchases:
*12 pack of Trojan Ultra Ribbed Condoms
*One Pez Dispenser (Mike Wazowski from Monster’s Inc edition)
*Three single caramel Bull’s Eyes
Total: $17.32
Expression on foreign woman’s face at the collection of items he picked out: Priceless