News
How a bro interprets the news.
There’s a First for Everything
Today I had the privilege of being a witness to one of the proudest moments in my good friend’s life: his first condom purchase. Having finally acquired a red head from the rugby team to make love to under the sycamore tree, Donatello found himself in the need for anything resembling a Glad bag.
How Real Men Fish: Helicopter Style
So you think your a man because you can shot-gun a beer? You’re good at dizzy bat? You once caught a ten pound bass?
Well this guy has more testosterone than the entire Eastern seaboard combined. Boat? Fuck it. Net? Pshhh. Fishing Rod? Got a helicopter. Beat that.
Panda Lady Takes a Tumble
My friend has a thing for women we describe with the word “panda”. This describes a past pleasantly plump woman who becomes increasingly hotter as the drinks increase. Sometimes the pursuit of Panda, or Panda Watch, can lead to indescribable consequences. I’m not talking about a baby. Hide your tables, or Pandas will surely end the opportunity to play ruit. Here is a Panda in its natural habitat.
The New Game Sweeping College Campuses: Roofie Roulette
They should really call them downies…or rapies…
Either way, I hear a lot of bros are trying out this new game. Beware: Tighten up that belt before you play.
Can I Smell Your ….?
I hear when Tiger crashed his Escalade (hollaaah) he was jamming to this masterpiece. He’s always coming home at five in the morning, with more lingering Armani Diamond perfume than a French whore. It’s only a matter of time before things caught up with him.
Allegedly, Elin has requested to smell Tiger’s 9 iron on multiple occasions. With the media attention he is getting two weeks after the issue surfaced, it seems Sportscenter wants a whiff too. Back off Hannah Storm; the PGA stud only goes for real blondes…
Beast Mode
Probably not the sharpest tool in the shed, but the guys does run a 4.46 40 yard dash with the body of a samoan warrior.
Listen to his responses; his ability to read is being reviewed by the booth as we speak.
Gaines Adams (Gerald from Hey Arnold w/o afro) doesn’t do much better.
Sittin on the Toilet
The next up and coming rapper: RayWilliamJohnson
Pinchin a loaf out one end and spittin phat rhymes out the other. Don’t act like you don’t do it, bro. When dropping the kids off at the pool you might as well explore the creative space of the Can.
Shes either a double flusher or doesnt wipe. You decide.
flusssssh
The Plunger
My Bro, Lets call him Bundy, was over last night and totally took down our Bro Monkeys girl. Not that Bro but he redeemed himself by givin MARYMAC69 (her twitter name, Follow her) the “forbidden” man on top 69. He was straight plunging her throat with the ass cheeks spread in her face. Pretty graphic I know but really entertaining for the rest of us. So if you and your Bros want to utterly disrespect a loose broad get on top and give her the plunger. 